Anti-U.N. Towns Need a Civics Lesson Sunday, July 15, 2001       La Verkin. Sounds like a place that makes pickles, not policy. But Tom, this little southwestern Utah town, hardly a dot on the map, has thrust itself into the international political arena by outlawing the United Nations.     What an interesting approach! The city council there doesn't like the U.N. or U.S. participation in the U.N. so they simply voted to ban the U.N. and any activities supportive of it within the city limits. Not that the U.N. had any plans for invasion of southwestern Utah anyway.     La Verkin hasn't actually banned the U.N. But it is requiring anyone engaged in U.N. work of any kind to post a sign declaring their involvement. Presumably that will protect the rest of the city residents from wandering too close and being tainted by the activity.     And don't expect any Halloween trick-or-treaters for UNICEF this year in La Verkin. We can't have kids collecting money for those international programs that feed and clothe children and provide emergency relief and medical care.     That violates the Malthusian principle of catastrophic elimination of overpopulation.     Those kids are sick and dying to preserve the lives of the rest of us. The earth can't sustain all of us, you know. Some have to be sacrificed so others -- like our friends and neighbors in La Verkin -- can live the good life.     The mayor declares this action an attempt to preserve their right to defend themselves from the socialist world. I wonder if that means the Utah Democratic party? Will the next city ordinance ban Democratic Party activity?     Actually, that's probably unnecessary in La Verkin. They just burn a donkey pi-ata on the lawn of any Democrat and run them out of town. Given the size of La Verkin, it would just be a short sprint.     Maybe La Verkin ought to go back to making pickles, or whatever it is they do to sustain life. Given the incredible violation of personal freedoms embedded in this ordinance, they would do better if they tended to the education of the La Verkin City Council in the democratic process, the Declaration of Independence and the protection of rights afforded by the U.S. Constitution.         Laurie J. Wilson is a professor of communications at BYU. Let's not be too hasty in passing judgment on this, Laurie. These LaVerkinites may have something here.     Let's face it, the U.N. hasn't done a damn thing for the United States. We are stuck with their lousy view-spoiling building in New York and we owe hundreds of millions in back membership dues.     All the while we have all these foreigners running around this country with their stinking diplomatic immunity passes, which let them park in front of fire hydrants and violate parking.     Show me one good thing the United Nations has done for Utah. Show me one country where U.N. peacekeepers have been able to keep the peace. It is high time that we wake up to the scam known as the U.N., and it doesn't stop there. The good people of southern Utah are also leading the charge in Americanizing this country.     La Verkin wants anyone who has anything to with the U.N. to have a sign on their property warning others of their activities and also must report in writing to the town council what they have been up to the past year. Not only that, but they should make anyone doing U.N. work wear a robin's-egg-blue star on their clothes so we can spot them on the street. You can't be too careful with those subversive running around.     La Verkin is not alone in the final battle to preserve the union.     Their neighbors in Virgin passed a law last year that everybody in town has to own a gun and they are looking closely at La Verkin's anti-U.N. position. Hurricane wants to scrap the U.S. Constitution's 17th Amendment, which allows citizens to elect their senators, and return to the good old days when the Legislature would appoint someone's brother-in-law to the job.     This could sweep the country. On second thought, why don't we just let Nevada have Wendover, Utah, and to sweeten the pot throw in La Verkin, Virgin and Hurricane? They could go back to underground nuclear testing where these nitwits are bunched up. CIAO!         Tom Barberi is a talk show host on KALL-AM.                 © Copyright 2001, The Salt Lake Tribune All material found on Utah OnLine is copyrighted The Salt Lake Tribune and associated news services. No material may be reproduced or reused without explicit permission from The Salt Lake Tribune.